My daughter is changing; advice please?

[Smaug]

I'm divorced. My ex has custody, but I negotiated a lot of visitation with my daughter. (two evenings a week, every other weekend and 3 weeks in the summer)

She's 11 now and starting to get to the point where she doesn't want to come to my house for the weekend because she doesn't have friends here. How do I stay close to her without ruining her social life? Or, do I not worry about it?

She's also over-scheduled by her mom. Extra Spanish, piano lessons, swim team... Swim team alone is 3 evenings a week and meets about every other weekend.

What have you divorced dads done? (There MUST be some here, from spending too much on camera gear, hahaha)

 

[Bashir Lunat]

Divirce is unfortunate and I wouldnt wish anyone to go through.
You can maintain close relationship with her and sometimes invite her along with her friends and enjoy togetherness. She will need your support for her academic success.
Best wishes.

 

[LeicaEye (2)]

As a divorced dad with 3 daughters, imho sometimes regular and often visitation can create problems. Sit down with your daughter and ask her what she would like to do on the days she visits. Just sit and listen to her.. Divorce is no picnic for kids. Make sure you tell her how much you love her even though mommy and daddy can’t live together.

 

[Smaug]

I didn't mention it before, but it is not new. Her mom and I divorced when she was 6 months old. She's 11 now. There's no issues with transition or hoping Mommy and Daddy will get back together.

 

[LeicaEye (2)]

I would imagine she is becoming a young lady, imho you will need to involve her in some basic decision making ie meals, outing, hobbies, new interests & future vacations etc..

 

[archer]

You have to consult with professional counselor, not on photography forum. Can you imagine asking a counselor on children behavior photographic questions.

 

[Bashir Lunat]

You have to consult with professional counselor, not on photography forum. Can you imagine asking a counselor on children behavior photographic questions.

I am sure he is already doing that.
However ,I think there is no harm in sharing feelings.

 

[Smaug]

I am sure he is already doing that.
However ,I think there is no harm in sharing feelings.

Correct.

I’m looking for firsthand experience from fellow parents.

One specific thing: She lives at her mom’s house, but her mom’s parents live there and take care of all the day-to-day stuff. My ex is a family doctor and doesn’t spend a ton of time with her. The result is that she actually misses her mom more and takes me for granted because I’m always around. It’s frustrating. I guess this is how housewives feel…

 

[LeicaEye (2)]

More and more facts about the overall situation have emerged, imho professional counseling might be a good way to go, parenting after divorce is very hard on all parties.